Funny Greg/Transcript

This is the transcript for Funny Greg.

Transcript
(The episode starts with the Wiggles logo above these 4 characters in the show. Until, Greg is singing the song: Get Ready To Wiggle plays in the background, it shows their names appear in the opening sequence.)

Greg: (singing offscreen.) Ba-dum-bum-bum, ba-da-ba-da

Ba-dum-bum-bum, ba-da-ba-da

Ba-dum-bum-bum, ba-da-ba-da

Ba!

We're ready to wiggle, wiggle your fingers high in the sky

We're ready to wiggle, wiggle your ears and wiggle your eyes

We're ready to wiggle, wiggle your hair and wiggle your nose

We're ready to wiggle, wiggle all ten toes, wiggle all ten toes

Whoo!

(A pop-up purple star with red outlined transition to the song: Hot Potato (Live) A scene is filmed on December 1997 at Melbourne Entertainment Centre. While, the Wiggles dancing to three different types of food.)

Greg: (singing) Hot potato, hot potato

Hot potato, hot potato

Hot potato, hot potato

Potato

Potato, potato, potato

Cold spaghetti, cold spaghetti

(The Other Wiggles: (singing) Cold spaghetti, cold spaghetti)

Greg: (singing) Cold spaghetti, cold spaghetti

(The Other Wiggles: (singing) Cold spaghetti, cold spaghetti)

Greg: (singing) Cold spaghetti, cold spaghetti

(The Other Wiggles: (singing) Spaghetti)

Greg: (singing) Spaghetti

(The Other Wiggles: (singing) Spaghetti)

Greg: (singing) Spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti

Whoa

The Other Wiggles: (singing in high voice.) Wow wiggy wiggy wiggy, wow wiggy wiggy wiggy

(singing in low voice.) Gimmie that, gimmie that, gimmie that food

(singing in high voice.) Wow wiggy wiggy wiggy, wow wiggy wiggy wiggy

(singing in low voice.) Gimmie that, gimmie that

Greg: (singing) Mashed banana, mashed banana

(The Other Wiggles: (singing) Mashed banana, mashed banana)

Greg: (singing) Mashed banana, mashed banana

(The Other Wiggles: (singing) Mashed banana, mashed banana)

Greg: (singing) Mashed banana, mashed banana

(The Other Wiggles: (singing) Banana)

Greg: (singing) Banana

(The Other Wiggles: (singing) Banana)

Greg: (singing) Banana, banana, banana

Whoa

The Other Wiggles: (singing in high voice.) Wow wiggy wiggy wiggy, wow wiggy wiggy wiggy

(singing in low voice.) Gimmie that, gimmie that, gimmie that food

(singing in high voice.) Wow wiggy wiggy wiggy, wow wiggy wiggy wiggy

(singing in low voice.) Gimmie that, gimmie that

Greg: (singing) Hot potato, hot potato

(The Other Wiggles: (singing) Hot potato, hot potato)

Greg: (singing) Hot potato, hot potato

(The Other Wiggles: (singing) Hot potato, hot potato)

Greg: (singing) Hot potato, hot potato

(The Other Wiggles: (singing) Potato)

Greg: (singing) Potato

(The Other Wiggles: (singing) Potato)

Greg: (singing) Potato, potato, potato

(with the others) Whoo!

Greg: Well done, everyone. Give yourselves a big clap. That was terrific.

(Audience cheering & clapping, since they love the song about hot potato. Until, 3D block shapes transition to Kaz the Cat. A scene where the Wiggles are singing a song about the coolest cat ever.)

Wiggles: (singing offscreen.) Who is the coolest cat in the land?

Carolyn: (singing offscreen.) I know the coolest cat in the land.

Wiggles: (singing offscreen.) Who is the coolest cat in the land?

Carolyn: (singing offscreen.) Hey, everybody, it's Kaz the Cat.

(Kaz meows.)

(It fades to the segment called "Telling Jokes". A scene where Carolyn asked Benjamin to tell some funny jokes.)

Benjamin: (He squawks.) Let's talk, Carolyn.

Carolyn: Hi, Benji.

Benjamin: What a pitty! Tweet-tweet! Lovely kitty cat, Kaz is asleep. Would you like to hear a joke?

Carolyn: Yes, I can. I'd love can.

Benjamin: What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?

Carolyn: I don't know. What do you get?

Benjamin: A sour-puss! (He's laughing with Carolyn.)

Kaz: (He woke up, after they're laughing.) Pardon me? You really think that was funny? Hmph! Wait until I get my hands on you, you bold bird! I'll tell you all about that chicken across the road? And, I'll tell you, the stupid jokes about stupid birds who drop cats? Hmph! Sleeping in a cot! Hmph!

(Stars transition to Wigglehouse. While, Greg is the singing part for Get Ready To Wiggle.)

Greg: (singing offscreen.) Ba-dum-bum-bum, ba-da-ba-da

Ba-dum-bum-bum, ba-da-ba-da

Ba-dum-bum-bum, ba-da-ba-da

Whoo!

(Until, it transitions to Anthony, Murray & Jeff who are walking in pacing, while trying to think. Dr. Carolyn opens the door to reveal Greg is not feeling well.)

Murray: So, Doctor, how bad is it?

Dr. Carolyn: The patient is resting. He will eventually make a full recovery...

Murray: Great! (The Other Wiggles are giving thumbs up.)

Dr. Carolyn: ..but he needs special care.

Anthony: Oh. What exactly is wrong with Greg, Doc?

Dr. Carolyn: The patient... (She takes her glasses off.) ..has lost his sense of humor.

The Other Wiggles: Ooh!

Jeff: Maybe he left it around here somewhere. Let's have a look for it, Wiggles! (They all have a look for Greg’s sense of humor.) What does it look like, anyway?

Anthony: I don't know, Jeff, but I bet it's a funny-looking thing. Hee-hee-hee!

Dr. Carolyn: Please! You will not find any sense of humor here. It is not like Greg has lost a toy or something. It means he has forgotten how to smile and be happy. Yes?

The Other Wiggles: Yes.

Anthony: But what can we do for Greg, Doc?

Dr. Carolyn: I think you will find that laughter is the best medicine. (She bows down & leaves. And, so the other Wiggles bow down. Until, they've bumped each other's heads.)

Anthony: Gee! No sense of humor. No wonder Greg looks so miserable. I'd hate not to be able to laugh.

Murray: Me too!

Jeff: Me three!

Murray: We're gonna have to fix of something to fix this.

(Greg opens the yellow door, looking very unhappy. They ask Greg to sit on his yellow beanbag.)

Jeff: Hi, Greg. Greg, we've prepared a nice comfortable place for you over here by the very, very funny clock.

Anthony: Yep, sure is a funny clock. (with Murray & Jeff laughing.)

Murray: Hey, Greg, the doctor said you're going to be alright.

Greg: Anthony, What are you doing?

Anthony: Me? Nothing, Greg, nothing. (Anthony, Murray and Jeff all laugh)

Greg: Not funny, Anthony. What are you two doing? Can’t you see, I’m sick?

Anthony: This is gonna be really tough, guys.

Jeff: How about—

All: Tickle tickle tickle!

Greg: Tickling won’t work, nothing seems to work. I-i can’t even giggle. I don’t know what to do.

Murray: Don’t worry, Greg...

All three: We’ll think of something.

Anthony: Hey, Greg, why do birds fly south in the winter?

Greg: I don’t know. Why?

Anthony: because it’s too far to walk! (laughs)

Jeff: What happened to the banana that sat in the sun for too long?

Murray: I don’t know. What happened to the banana that sat in the sun for too long?

Jeff: It started to peel!

Murray: I’ve got one: what do cows do for fun? Huh? What do they do? They go to the mooooovies!

Anthony: Here’s one: What did the tire say to the hot road?

Jeff: What did the tire say to the hot road?

Anthony: Bouncy bouncy diddly douncy! (Laughs.) Bouncy bouncy diddly dou— (looks over to Greg then back at the camera)—anyhoo.

Murray: Hey! Look at me! (promptly falls over, all three laugh)

Greg: Look, Wiggles, I’m really glad you‘re trying to make me laugh, but there’s nothing we can do about it. I’ve lost my sense of humor...forever.

Murray: Hey, Greg, you’ve gotta be able to laugh at funny things.

Greg: Not funny, Murray.

Murray: Looks like we can’t help you, unless you help yourself. How about...you make a really big effort to at least smile.

Anthony: Sometimes I wake up in the mornings and i don’t feel too happy. Then i think about all the good things like my friends and food, and I can’t help but smile. (Pulls the rope, and down comes an apple)

Greg: I know you’re right, Anthony. Ok, I’ll give it a shot. (DRUMROLL) I can’t do it. I think I’m all laughed out.

Murray: (gasps) What if we all did a really big smile? Maybe that’d transfer smiling power to you. (To camera) What do you think? Let’s all do our best smiles.

(All three smile at camera)

Anthony: That’s great! Is it working?

Jeff: I don’t think so.

WIGGLY TRIVIA QUESTIONS: WILL THE WIGGLES MAKE GREG SMILE?

CAN THEY HOLD THEIR SMILES MUCH LONGER?

WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT?

Murray: Can we stop, now? This is starting to hurt my face.

(All stop smiling)

Greg: Thanks for trying everyone, but it’s just no good.

Jeff: Come on, Greg, let’s not give up that easily! How do you turn soup into gold?

Murray: I don’t know.

Jeff: You add 14 carrots!

Anthony: Knock, knock!

Others: Who’s there?

Anthony: Museum.

Others: Musuem who?

Anthony: Now museum, now you don’t!

(Enter Dorothy)

Dorothy: Oh goody, The Wiggles are having so much fun, I’m gonna play a trick on em!

(Dorothy goes behind and taps each of them then ducks before they see who’s doing it)

(Laughter)

Greg: (laughing) That’s so funny!

Jeff: What’re you laughing at, Greg?

Greg: (modestly) Oh nothing, Jeff, nothing.

All: DOROTHY!

Dorothy: Hi!

Greg: She sure got you, Jeff!

Anthony: Whah-hoo, he’s laughing!

Greg: Whah-hoo I am, I’m laughing!

Murray: This is great! Greg’s got his sense of humor back!

(Dr. Carolyn enters)

Anthony: Doctor, Doctor, you‘re just in time! Greg has made a remarkable recovery. Dorothy, here started to play a trick on the Wiggles, and now Greg’s got his sense of humor back. He’s laughing.

Dr. Carolyn: This is very good!

Greg: Gee thanks, Doc, I can laugh again.

Dr. Carolyn: Don’t mention it.

Greg: Put ‘er there! Ha! Hey Doc, speaking of jokes, why did the boy take a ladder to school? He wanted to go to high school. What did one valcano say to another? I Lava You!

Anthony: He’s back to normal! (All exit except for Dr. Carolyn and Greg)

Greg: (to Dr. Carolyn) Anyway you wanna see something really, really funny? Watch I’ll stand on my hands. You ready?